Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Plus two.

On my birthday last week, I was greeted by a coworker with, “Happy birthday! What is it? 29?”

“27,” I replied.

“Oh,” she said with embarrassment before turning back to her computer to escape the awkwardness.

Sure, it bothers me that someone would say they think I’m two years older than I am. But what really bothers me is that I know people only wish you a Happy 29th when they think you’re much older than 29. It’s a tongue-in-cheek way to tell someone in their 30’s and 40’s they still look young.

This time it ended up saying I look fucking old.

Luckily, the rest of the birthday didn’t go as bad, especially since most of the rest of the day involved eating. Had some loaded waffles with my friend Iram, a pumpkin cheesecake with my coworkers, and a huge-ass dinner at Claim Jumpers with my parents.

I’m sure the five pounds I’ve probably gained from it all will get me well on my way to being wished a happy 39 next year.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Better than the Tan Torpedo.

Did you know I’ve been published in an internationally distributed magazine read by thousands across the globe? Sure, it may have only been in their reader-mail section, but I’ll take what I can get.

And don’t worry, Mom. It didn’t start out with, “Dear Penthouse.”

It was in Wizard Magazine. If you’re not familiar with the publication, their content is geared mainly for the comic book crowd and geeks such as myself. I’m sure you’ve seen their Wolverine-emblazoned covers on the newsstands from time to time. They have a letter section called “Magic Words” at the beginning of the magazine where they answer their readers’ questions about the comic industry and other fanboy stuff.

“Does the Flash have to buy new shoes on a regular basis?”

“How does Daredevil know when he’s done wiping after going to the bathroom?”

Stuff like that.

If letters that fascinating could get in, I thought I’d give it a shot myself. I sent in a random comic rambling, and in November of 2006, i got inked. Read it for yourself.

Not exactly Pulitzer material, I know. I was just looking to be printed. And the second I thought up the Brown Bomber, I knew I was in.

So why bring this up after all this time, you ask? It’s been two years already. Why mention it now?

I make a habit of reading comic books every day on my train ride home from work. In addition to keeping me entertained, it keeps me from falling asleep. I started doing it shortly after the time I passed out and missed my stop by four stations and had to walk a couple of miles in the pouring rain without an umbrella to get to my car. Anyways, last week, the comic Justice League of America #26 made it into my evening reading.

The issue had come out a week earlier and was written by some guy named Dwane McDuffie. In the book, reality had gotten all funked up and the Justice League team was completely changed. Some members had their histories drastically altered in addition to some completely new members being added to the team. Their roster went like this. (Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the pic.)

I nearly fell out of my seat. There on the bottom of the page was my guy. I couldn’t believe someone finally made a Brown Bomber. Personally, I pictured him being some skinny guy in brown tights throwing around brown explosives instead of a racist, white guy who turns into a super-powered black man, but I was still astounded the comic world finally had a “brown” superhero.

As soon as I got home, I rummaged through my closet for that old copy of Wizard. Unfortunately, I hadn’t kept track of which issue it was in, so it took me nearly an hour of pouring through my old magazines to find it. But I found it. Issue 181, page 13. After reading my letter and laughing a bit to myself, I thought I’d give the magazine a quick scan to see what was going on in the comic world two years ago. I flipped eight pages ahead and noticed a short article about the comic Firestorm. It featured a short interview by the books writer, Dwayne McDuffie.

The same Dwayne McDuffie who wrote Justice League of America #26.

Was it coincidence? Or had Dwayne picked up the issue to see how his interview turned out, noticed my letter while skimming through the rest of the magazine, and was inspired to create his own Brown Bomber?

Who knows! I’m planning on writing Wizard again to see if they can find out. I’d like to think that somehow I contributed to a couple of pages of comic history. But even if it does turn out to be just a coincidence, I think I’ll at least be assured another printing in the Wizard mail section.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Buddy list/buddy lust.

Out of nowhere, her name popped up on my AIM buddy list. I hadn’t seen her online for years. I hadn’t seen her in person for even longer.

I met her in college and had a crush on her instantly. A month or so later, I found out she had a crush on me back. We had a few dates, but it ended up going nowhere because I still wasn’t over a girl who had messed me up the year before. Eventually, we started talking less and less, and at the end of the semester, she transferred to another university.

Sometimes I wonder if only I had met her a year earlier, or a year later. I’m sure things would have worked out a lot better. Timing has never been my forte.

I sat there in front of my computer wondering if I should try to chat with her. We hadn’t left on the best of terms, but that was years ago. And she was sweet and fun and oh so very good-looking. I pictured her adorable smile and her glasses framing her delicate brown eyes and thought to myself, “What the hell. I’ll give it a shot.”

I scrolled over to my buddy list and placed my cursor over her name, ready to double-click for a conversation when her status automatically popped up in a hover box. It simply read, “We’re engaged!!!”

Apparently, my timing hasn’t improved.