Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Flying the REALLY friendly skies.

The other day at work, I received the following request to create an ad to be placed on the company homepage:

“Copy - ‘See More of Asia! >BOOK NOW!’
For imagery - please incorporate attached image“

After looking over the copy and photo, I responded with the following:

“Do you think it would be possible to get another image to use for this? The shot is way too artsy and vogue to use in a centerspot.

“Plus, with the copy attached, it kind of makes it seem like the girl’s name is Asia and the deal is to see more of her. Although I’m sure plenty of guys wouldn’t mind if they could ‘book’ her ‘now’, I don’t think that would work best for the brand.”

We ended up using a shot of a big, stone Buddha. I’m sure less people will want to “book” him.

Friday, January 11, 2008

It might be okay if I was dating Pinocchio.

I hate it when I find a girl’s nose incredibly attractive. It’s a very hard body part to compliment.

You can tell a girl that she has the deepest soulful eyes. You can tell her that you love the way her hair glistens in the sun and brushes against her cheeks on a breezy morning. But it sounds a bit creepy to tell her that she has the cutest curves in her nasal bridge and most-adorable nostril shape.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Coffee breath.

I went to Caribou Coffee for the first time in my life today, and after ordering, the cashier offered me a free tin of mints.

I just wonder, is that something they usually do, or did she find my breath so repulsive that she was willing to steal from her own place of employment to be rid of the stench?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

It even rhymes with hate.

You know what I hate most about the new year? The new number at the end of it.

For the life of me, I can’t seem to write a legible number 8. My hand isn’t quite smart enough to make two ellipses on top of each other. Somehow, all my eights manage to turn out resembling a drunken ampersand or a six with a large wart on its back. So now, whenever I make out a check or fill out a form, the date will read “200&”. Whether banks will accept checks dated for “two-hundred-and”, I have no idea.

Before, I only had to worry about it three times a month (except for dreaded August, where I had to bear with it for thirty-one days). Now, for a whole year, I have to attempt to write an unwritable number. I’m stuck with ocho for 365 days straight.

At least I can be thankful it isn’t the 1980’s anymore. A whole decade of 8’s. I won’t have to worry about something like that happening for another 72 years. I can only hope by 2080 that either computers will have made handwriting a thing of the past or that I’ll be dead already.