Saturday, April 28, 2007

Thai food with a side of tawdry.

There’s no better way to bond with your parents than to go out to eat and to be seated next to a table of highschool boys talking loudly during the entire meal about the girls they’ve had sex with.

It forces you to keep the conversation going with the folks so the three of you don’t have to sit and listen to what Jim did with Claire after Alex’s party.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Too much Target.

Sometime last year, I was buying shampoo at Target. “That’ll be $1.92,” the cashier said as he swiped it across the scanner. “Register for a Target Red Card today and save ten percent on your purchase.”

I looked back at him cynically. “I think I can handle the nineteen cents.”

Today, I bought a DVD player, Venture Brothers Season 2, ten Star Wars action figures, and an iPod for my mom. Needless to say, this time I had no problem with registering for a Target Red Card.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I guess I like it gooey too.

When I’m bored, I like to touch random cool objects to my face.

So, guy in my office, I hope you don’t think me too odd after catching me with silly putty on my forehead.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

112 days later.

Hi. Remember me? I’m some guy who updates this site. At least I used to be. Four months ago.

I wish I could say there was a good reason for me being away. I was sick. I was in prison. I was trapped on a deserted island with strange hatches and a smoke monster. But no. Nothing that exciting. I was just lazy.

Every other day, I’d come home with the intent of posting something. But as soon as I’d sit in front of my computer, I’d end up going on eBay instead. Now I have 46 more comic trades, 37 more action figures, 3 more video cards, 2 more Wii nunchucks, and 0 more web updates.

Oh, and hundreds less dollars.

In an effort to finally get off my ass, as well as give some relief to the wallet underneath it, I’m back to Ozzyboy.com. Sorry for being away so long. If you’d like a quickie update, here’s a little of what you’ve missed:

• I competed in a chili cool-off.
• I accidentally killed all my fish.
• I finished doing my bedroom.
• I worked overnight at work, 32 hours straight.
• I got a bonus and a raise.
• I got published in an international publication.
• I got stuck in my office building when some guy murdered three people 20 stories up.
• I bought a Wii.
• I was transferred to a new cubicle at work.
• I got a 32-inch flatscreen TV.
• I watched the building next to my office catch fire.
• I fought a strange funk in my room.
• I finally updated my site.

If any of you would like a little more info on one of those items, just let me know and I might just post it up on some day when nothing happens worth noting, which just so happens to be about everyday.

Anyways, it’s good to be back and blogging. Feel free to start a betting pool on how long it lasts. Put me in for $50 for two weeks.