Sunday, October 30, 2005

Just think of the papercuts.

A few weeks ago, I saw one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Her long, brunette hair flowed and draped itself over her perfectly tanned skin. Every hint of her passion was unveiled from just a glimpse into her deep brown eyes. Her lips were strong and full but bared not a hint of a smile. I would have given anything to see her lips part and pull upwards in a moment of joy, but this proves to be impossible when the girl you are gazing upon is merely a single image in the weekly Target advertisement.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, and I couldn’t bear to throw her away like the rest of the rabble in the Sunday ads. I set the advertisement aside and vowed to keep her stowed away safely and to cherish her for all time.

But I forgot. A while later while cleaning my room, I saw the week old advertisement sitting in the corner and without a second thought, tossed it out. After a few days, to my horror, I realized my mistake, but it was too late. The trash had already been taken away. The girl of my dreams was now wasting away in a landfill somewhere.

She was gone forever.

Or so I thought.

This morning I opened the Target ad to find she had returned to me. She was as lovely as ever, and I was overjoyed to see her beautiful face one more time. I promised to never let her out of my sight again.

…and this is how depressing my life is. 

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Something old to house my privates.

As most of you already know, I used to have a website called ozzyboy.com. Then my host decided to be a bastard, go out of business, and keep my domain name all for himself for no reason other than being too lazy to sign it back over to me.

Well, I did some research a few weeks back and discovered that I had registered with him a little over a year ago.

Do you know what that means? [For those just transferring over from spareunderwear.com, continue reading here] That means the domain registration has expired and anyone is free to purchase it again. And as you can see, that anyone is me.

So I guess that means you have to change your bookmarks and links all over again. I apologize for the thirty seconds you’ll lose today from doing so.

Spareunderwear was good when I needed it, but now it’s time to get back into the original pair. And the elastic wasteband is nice and loose, just the way I like it.