Friday, August 26, 2005

Disap-POINT-ed.

I may not get health insurance or paid vacations or any benefits like that working as a contractor at Orbitz.com, but at least I get free soda. Everyone does. Regardless if you’re an official employee or just a lowly contract worker such as myself, all you have to do is walk up to the kitchen’s vending machine, punch in your selection, and your soft drink of choice plops down – all without any exchange of currency.

In recent weeks, the Pepsi people have been holding a little under-the-cap promotion where one out of every six caps can win you a free bottle of soda with the additional purchase of any other bottle. Unfortunately, with it being free in the first place, it’s a pretty crappy prize. All other non-winning caps have a value of one point that can be accumulated and entered online to win other items.

I went to the site to see what those prizes might be, and found that I could get myself a nice hat for the small sum of 40 points. With soda being free and all, I thought it a doable amount, but didn’t want to risk contracting diabetes from that much sugar-filled soda intake. So I placed a cup in the kitchen with a note asking for bottle cap donations. I figured that most people didn’t give a damn about their points and would gladly toss their caps in the cup after finishing their bottle.

I figured right. By the end of two weeks, there were three cups filled with bottle caps sitting on the shelf in the kitchen. It was well over the necessary amount of points needed to get a hat. There was probably even enough for a t-shirt.

And I probably would have gotten that t-shirt too if I hadn’t walked into the kitchen the other day to find the entire cap collection gone.

Who the hell steals bottle caps? There are computers lying all over the place in the office. Steal those! Leave my damn caps alone.

Now I have to actually buy my apparel.

In the coming weeks, if I see anyone walking around the office with a Mountain Dew t-shirt, I’m kicking that bastard’s ass.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Girls make things not suck.

This year’s comic convention was a bit of a disappointment. Deanry and I were looking forward to seeing the new Attacktix figures at the Hasbro booth, but the damn toy company didn’t even show up. I would have given them the finger, but that tends to be less offensive when the intended target is not even there to witness it.

There were a few cute girls there, at least. And in comparison with most comic convention attendees, a girl with even the slightest bit of attractiveness seems like a goddess.

My favorite was running one of the video gaming booths. She kind of reminded me of that brunette from The OC whom I have a slight crush on. I stayed around and got my ass kicked in Tekken 3 for a good fifteen minutes just so I could look up at her playing at the console across from me. There was just something about her eyes – hungry and passionate, full of lust, eating up every last bit of the game that lay before her.

I’ve never been so envious of a video game system. Being the control pad in her hands alone would be worth the lack of sentience.

The two other girls of note I actually failed to see. Deanry got a good view, but I was too busy photographing someone in a huge Pikachu outfit to notice the remarkable pair making their away around the fuzzy mass of yellow. By the time Deanry informed me of their existence, they were long gone, and all that was left to see was Pikachu’s fat ass in their wake.

I reviewed my photographs after the con, and it turns out I was lucky enough to snap a pic of one of the girls while shooting that damned Pokemon.

I just wasn’t lucky enough to see her in person.

Thursday, August 4, 2005

The answer: very gay.

Vanessa Carlton’s song “White Houses” makes me cry a little inside.

God, how gay am I?