Sunday, October 31, 2004

Things I Hate #1.

I hate it when you go out to eat and instead of getting the cute hapa-looking waitress that’s serving the table across from you, you get waited on by some greasy-haired guy who keeps calling you “Buddy.”

I just wish Stir Crazy would let you hand-pick your server like they do with what goes in your stir-fry.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Grassbag full of ants.

Whenever I mow the lawn, I always make sure to stop the mower on anthills and leave it running on top of them for a good 30 seconds so I can mulch up as many of those little bastards as possible.

And yet, whenever I see a single ant crawling across the carpet, I’m reluctant to kill it and rarely ever do.

It’s funny how I find joy in genocide and am yet dismayed with committing the occasional single little murder.

I guess that makes me more like Hitler than O.J. Simpson.

I’d prefer to be like neither.

Friday, October 22, 2004

I hate the smell of ashes in the morning.

My mom forgot she left a pot on the stove when we went out last night, and we came home to find the place filled with a thin haze of smoke. Now the entire house smells like a cross between a campfire and a chain smoker’s mouth. We’ve been leaving all the windows and doors open to air the place out, but that’s not so fun with the fifty-degree weather blowing in.

Why couldn’t mother have burned those beans in May? It sucks having to choose between a funky house and a freezing house. And airing out the place isn’t even working, so we end up with both.

I’ve had enough of wearing a coat in my own home, especially when exposing it to the stink results in it soaking in all the stench. It’s even in my hair, which currently smells like I washed it in fireplace soot.

Right now, I think I’m going to head off to Target for twenty bucks worth of Oust and Plug-ins. I need to defunkify this place before the odor settles into the carpet and becomes a permanent resident.

Friday, October 15, 2004

While I was away.

Sorry about not updating for over two weeks. I’ve been a bit busy for the past seventeen days and for most of it far far away from any access to a copy of Dreamweaver.

Now, if someone would be kind enough to donate a Mac edition of the Macromedia MX Suite for my PowerBook, this wouldn’t be a problem.

(Wink, wink)

Two weeks ago, I went back up to my Alma Mater to help out the new yearbook staff for a week or so with some design stuff. I was feeling a bit guilty having abandoned them after graduation. Plus, they were paying me quite the pretty penny. For a guy with no source of income and a credit card bill nearing quadruple digits, it sounded like a good deal.

While I was up there I happened to get a parking ticket from damned Campus Safety. I would think they’d have better things to do other than ticket guests for parking in the guest parking lot. The only way to get out of the ticket was to send a letter to the Committee of Appeals. In my sarcastic tirade, I made sure to refrain from calling them “dumb assholes,” so hopefully they’ll waive the forty dollar fine.

After my week and a half stint at Andrews, I headed down to the Covered Bridge Festival. If you have no idea what the festival is, it’s basically one week out of the year when an entire county down in Indiana turns all of their towns into one giant flea market. Every year, I end up coming home from there with a few choice items and curiosities. This year, though, all I ended up purchasing was an upside down pocket watch and a Playboy Club beer mug. I regret purchasing the watch, but the playboy mug rocks. It’s nice having porno to keep my juice in. It’s like having sex with every sip.

Finally I have a girl to caress with my lips. Too bad she only comes in the form of a cup.