Saturday, May 29, 2004

Without honors.

While talking with some guys after church, Uncle Bing came up to me and said my mom told him that graduating with Summa Cum Laude means nothing if you can’t find a job.

And that is how you make Andrew McCash speechless.

Can’t wait to hang myself with my GPA honor cord.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Ben who?

Have any of you ever heard of some guy named Ben Jelen?

Apparently he’s some up-and-coming singer, and I think I may have stood behind him in the checkout line at the Suncoast this afternoon. Mr. Jelen had a gig at the Sam Goody later in the day and I guess he was taking a tour of the mall before his show.

I probably would have made a bigger fuss about sharing the same air with him if it weren’t for the fact that my only exposure to him or his music was his three-minute cameo on Las Vegas last night.

Now if it were Nikki Cox one foot in front of me instead, that would have been a different story. I guess young men I’ve never heard of that apparently sound good while singing just don’t do it for me.

As I was leaving the store, I over heard the girl behind the counter talking to a co-worker about how gay she thought Ben Jelen looked.

It’s a good thing I refuse to wear tight-ass jeans.

I’m sorry about the lack of updates. The time spanning from April 15th to now is way too long a time to have to put up with clicking my site only to reread about my unhealthy buying habits.

I have good reason for my hiatus, though. For the first half of my extensive absence, I was a bit busy trying to graduate. Had to take a few final tests. Had to finish a few final projects. Had to walk down the aisle in a funny gown and a funny hat to pick up a piece of paper from an old man in a funnier gown and a funnier hat otherwise known as the President of Andrews University.

From my understanding, I graduated Summa Cum Laude. I probably don’t deserve that honor, seeing as how I don’t even know what the hell the words “Summa Cum Laude” mean. It just seems like the title of a porno in Latin to me.

That was almost three weeks ago. Now I’m busy attempting to find employment in the field that piece of parchment handed to me on stage says I am now qualified to work in.

Unfortunately diplomas are not gift certificates. You can’t just hand it to an employer and expect a free job. Getting work involves much more work than that. Resumes. Coverletters. Portfolios. Interviews. Right now I’m looking at the first three items on that list and I’m scared that they’re nowhere near good enough to get an employer to even grant me the last item. I’m so afraid that after spending four damn years getting my degree that I’m gonna end up with a dead-end job in retail.

Have any of you ever heard of some guy named Andrew McCash?

Apparently he’s some up-and-coming graphic designer, and I fear you may stand in front of him as he runs the cash register at the Suncoast in the near future.