Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Writing is easier when it’s already written.

I can’t seem to come up with anything worth writing at the moment, at least anything worth reading at a later moment. I’d blame it on writer’s block, but the truth is there’s nothing going on with my life to write about. I go to work. I eat. I go home. I sleep. And I defecate somewhere in between. That’s about it.

Since I can’t come up with something new, I thought I’d come up with something old. Here’s a random entry from my old high school English class journal, apparently the day after a big tornado when the teacher asked us to write about what we’d do if we were ever faced with one:

May 4, 1999
Andrew’s Tornado Escape Plan:

1. Get out of bathtub.
2. Put on clothes. (optional)
3. Run outside and scream obscenities at hurling wind.
4. Get sucked into vortex of death.
5. Piss while in midair into the funnel to humiliate it.
6. Pull out gun and shoot tornado in the nuts.
7. Fall gracefully to the ground as the twister honors you as a fighter and leaves to never return.
8. Become a national hero and gain the respect of countless women as well as get to sleep with them.

I miss those days. Back then I didn’t have a life either, but damn was I creative. The teacher would give us the most boring of topics to cover and I’d turn it into twisted, hilarious piece of crap.

Now all I ever come up is just crap.

| 09:27 PM

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Me.

Drew. 28. Graphic designer. Works in Chicago. Lives in the suburbs. Kind of geeky. Wears too much blue. Drinks tea. Eats spice. Likes to poo.

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