Monday, July 05, 2004

Why can’t I be more like Pepé Le Pew?

I don’t like liking anymore.

In my whole experience with liking another person, it has never led to anything good. I should know better by now. Why can’t I learn my lesson? I watched a few episodes of Becker and realized that it sucked, so I made sure to never watch it again. How is this situation any different?

I thought I had a chance this time. I was sure she kind of liked me back. But whenever that happens, it always ends the same way—with me waiting by the phone for a call that never comes. It’s amazing how quickly a girl that I like can go from sort of liking me back to totally cutting off all communication with me. And I never even see it coming.

I’m kind of like Elmer Fudd chasing after Bugs Bunny. I think I’m just about to make the catch when I run off a cliff without even knowing it. I don’t even realize that all I’m treading is air. I just keep on running. The only thing keeping me from falling is my sheer obliviousness and ignorance of the laws of gravity. I’m fifty feet out when I finally look down and realize there’s no ground beneath my feet.

Then I make a dumb face, wave goodbye at the camera, and fall straight down.

It’s a whole lot funnier, though, when it’s Elmer instead of me making that big impact cloud at the bottom of the canyon.

Cartoon characters tend to bounce back better than me.