Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Another reason to get a new car: the new-car smell.

It was small and black. That’s all I could really make out of it. I didn’t really get a good look because it was night. And I was driving down the highway at 65mph.  And I only had a split-second glimpse of it before it went under my tire.

“Cat” was my first thought. But I figured something like that would make a bigger clunk as I drove over it, if not an ear-piercing “meow!” So I convinced myself it was an old tire tread from someone’s blowout and continued on my way.

A minute later and I had already forgotten about it. I drove on and started to smell something faint. I couldn’t make it out at first. Like a mixture of Thai food, old shoes and stomach acid. It gradually got stronger and I could finally identify it.

Skunk.

“Damn, someone hit a skunk,” I thought to myself.

I thought harder.

“Damn, I hit a skunk.”

I was miles down the road already, and yet it still reeked. I thought the funk would have stayed with the skunk. So I figured that either the thing had wedged itself between my muffler and bumper, or it had sprayed my entire undercarriage before departing to the hereafter. I was almost at the grocery store, so I thought I’d have a look below my van before going inside for some food goods.

I parked the car, closed the door, and peeked underneath. Nothing. No blood. No fur. No corpse clutching to the transmission. And oddly, no smell. “Weird,” I thought as I headed inside the store.

A half hour later, I walked back with my usual bags full of beef jerky and fake crab meat. I tossed my groceries in the passenger seat and started up the car. I took a breath.

It still smelled like skunk. And I swear it smelled even stronger.

You know how the old legends say that if a person dies violently, their spirit can remain in the place of their death in a state of torment? Could the same go for animals? Has this skunk’s soul returned from the dead to linger in my car forever to make me suffer for running it over? Is my van haunted by the smelliest ghost ever?

I guess I’ll see in the morning. If the smell is gone, then no worries. If it’s still there, I need to start looking into finding me an animal exorcist.

Or at least invest in some Glade.