Tuesday, November 16, 2004

23-Skidoo.

By the end of the week, I’ll be twenty-three. That’s a few more times around the sun than I’d prefer.

I’m getting so damned old. I work a nine-to-five job, pay off bills each month, and drive a minivan. All I need now is a wife and two kids, and all signs of youth will be gone. After that, all that’s left in my future is hemorrhoids and an inflamed prostate.

It’s sad when the only thing keeping you young is your ability to urinate in a timely fashion.

If any of you feel like lifting my spirits a bit with a birthday gift, there’s always my wish list. I just wish that Amazon.com offered girls to make out with on their online catalog.